Monday, November 29, 2010

Forget the kids...the Elderly say the darndest things!

Many of you know that I love my job, I work in long-term care, mostly with the elderly: the hours are great and flexible, I get to go from building to building making each day different and new, it's the great!
AND if you know me really well you know that I want to put every lil' elderly pumpkin in my pocket and take them home. I cannot pass an old man in Walmart without tearing up, especially if they are alone!!! ugh that's the worst! My mom used to have to make up stories so that I could emotionally move on from dwelling on why the little old man in isle 12 was shopping alone. She would say 'Oh Missy, he's got a wife at home cooking away and she was out of sugar', although I always knew she was completely pulling the stories out of the air, somehow I could get back to reality.
Because of this true love I have for the elderly population, it is only fitting to share the most funny moments I have been able to witness while working in long term care.

*As a disclaimer:
MANY of the elderly I work with have dementia or Alzheimer's so I like to think of them as: us, with no social filter. If they think it, it's gonna come out!
**Also the patients names were changed for the stories

Mrs. Jones wheeled up to a CNA the other day and said "I don't know what to do with myself today". The CNA, responded well there's plenty to do; there are recreation activities, we could put on a movie for you, and lunch is coming up soon."
Mrs. Jones responded, "well that all sounds fine, but what I'd really like to do is take a comb to that nasty hair of yours"


Mr. Smith, who is what we like to call very 'pleasantly confused' man just an absolute joy to be around. Recently he went home with his wife for Thanksgiving and stayed the night in his own home rather than returning to the nursing home that night. The morning he returned to the nursing home, he was singing and carrying on with a love song (which he usually does, but he was much more chipper in his tunes). I asked Mr. Smith, "How was your Thanksgiving, did you have fun with your family?" He responded very loudly and animated "It was great, I didn't want to go upstairs to bed, but my wife did and I'm sure glad I did, WOW, VaaaVoooom!" Then he went back to singing.


Jeff came with me to one of my nursing homes for a fall festival recently. Now it's important to know that women make of the majority of the population in most facilities. In saying that, every time Jeff comes to work with me the 'older ladies' act even more kooky and crazy than normal. One patient in particular made quite the scene when Jeff showed up. Asking Jeff to dance with her, and making hilarious inappropriate jokes. After a few minutes the patient pulled out her pills and said "Well, I better take my birth control just in case this goes any further" (she's 92)


My last story actually took place at Methodist Nursing home in Fort Smith , AR where my nana lived for a couple of years. Last Christmas Jeff and I were in visiting my nana as we always did and the nurse came down and said "Santa is here and he's about to make a presentation for all the residents in the activities room you all should go"
So Jeff, myself, & my mom pushed Nana down in her wheelchair to the extremely filled activities room- probably about 60 patients and their families all awaiting Santa to come into the room and sing, etc...
Jeff being the social butterfly that he is, stopped Santa from going in so he could get a picture with Santa and Nana before the big presentation, and spent a couple of minutes talking and joking with 'Santa'.
Since there was no room in the activities room for us, we sorta squished in and stood at the doorway where Santa was going to enter the room, just as they announced to the patients "Here comes Santa"...Jeff grabbed him by the arm in the doorway and in front of everyone yelled "Santa, knock 'em dead"
My jaw hit the floor.

There are soo many more, but they require to much explanation.
Hope everyone had a lovely Thanksgiving weekend!
With much love!

1 comment:

  1. This is so cute. I love the stories. I guess your mom sent a link to your blog to my Gran (Loraine Tucker), and she sent it on to me. I work with little kiddos, so I hear the kiddy-darndest-things alot, but these may be even funnier!